It is hard to believe that another year has come and gone. Maybe it’s because I am getting older, but it certainly feels like time is not just flying under the normal law of aerodynamics, but at the speed of light. I look at my children – wasn’t it just yesterday that they were running amok in toddlerhood bliss? Now they are all adults, ready for their own batch of freshly-baked toddlers (no, this is not a hint – just in case one of them is reading this blog!)
The end of a year on our Gregorian Calendar is celebrated with gusto in many nations. Fireworks mark the end of a year and ushers in the new. New Year Resolutions are as old as Babylon. They are most often discarded with the same haste that they have been made. New habits look fantastic on the 31st December and frightening on the 1st January, when the alarm goes off to remind you of your new jogging routine.
No matter how you view the end of a year, or whether you celebrate or not, it is a great time to do some deep inner work and shadow boxing. I know it is a luxury for many, but if you can find some time to reflect on the year that is gone, it will certainly be helpful on your future decision-making and the things that you say ‘yes’ to. So as you survey 2015, here are some starter questions:
1. What brought you joy?
2. What brought you pain?
3. How have you contributed to both?
4. Is there a pattern that you see between the two?
5. What do you regret and why?
6. How would you do things differently?
It is also helpful to explore the inner core – your values, your belief system, and how your actions and behaviour compare to who you really are. Our fast-paced social construct rarely allows time for these sort of uncomfortable, deeper musings. In a hurry-sick world, blame is the easy way out. Yet growth and change happens when we own who we are: Our thoughts, our behaviour and the decisions we make. The world owes us absolutely nothing – the sooner we can get rid of blame and a false sense of entitlement, the better!
We become conflicted when our inner values are violated. For example, we may say we value people, but if our role at work causes us to treat people as commodities, then we are continually violating what we claim to value. This causes inner conflict and stress. The end of a year provides a good time as any to press the ‘pause’ button and reflect on whether, for a myriad of reasons, we are violating our true self by not adhering to our value system.
At a recent retreat I took time to journal some thoughts on the year gone by. I reflected on what I value above other things and how I want to spend this second-half of life leaning more into this space. Here is a tiny snippet of my journal – I am sharing it to provide some ideas as you take time to reflect:
“In the future I will face many decisions. I want to make these decisions in line with my values, not just what seems good or beneficial on a surface level. I want to lean into my inner values:
– Quiet above Noise
– Kindness above Pragmatism
– Gentleness above Control
– Questions above Answers
– Wonder above Absolutes
– People above Ideals
– Honour above Shame
– Vulnerability above Ego
– Simplicity above Complexity ….”
The list goes on. I then used this list to evaluate some of the goals I hope to accomplish in 2016. No, not a 10 meter list of long-term, short-term goals – just a handful of goals. I want to learn from my values and from my history – from the year that was 2015. As I leave it behind, I want to look to the future remembering these lessons and reflections.
What about you? As you leave 2015 behind, what do you want to take with you? What do you want to change? How do you want to change? And what will it take for you to become more aligned to your true self and the values that motivate you? Take the time to consider. Take the time to remember. Write them down and make them clear.
I know it is customary to wish people a Happy New Year and I do wish that for you. However, what is happiness? Is it found in more stuff? Promotions that require longer working hours? An ever increasing mortgage? I don’t think so. I think ‘happiness’ is found when we live authentically, with kindness and generosity towards others, when we do our part in making this world just a little bit better. It is that sort of ‘happiness’ that I wish for you, my friend.