Tag Archives: Simple Life

Scattering the Stones We Gathered

‘A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.’ Ecclesiastes 3:5 (NLT)

Seyðisfjörður – Iceland, 2016

Who we are today has a lot to do with our culture and history. We embody the narratives we hold to. The stories we have been told, we continue telling … unless we stop and consider whether the lessons they offer are true to what we hold dear. Family and tribal traditions and beliefs are passed from one generation to the next, often without a second thought. That may not necessarily be a problem unless these ideas or stories have a negative impact on our identity, values or future. And then there are also the tales and hopes we cling to because they are precious to us.

The love and appreciation of Mother Earth is something that has been passed on to me through my family. I have always appreciated the outdoors, creatures great and small, forests, trees, the ocean, and vast green spaces. I delight in the sensation of beach sand under my bare feet and the feel of the varying types of rocks, pebbles, and wood in my hand. My nomadic father would bring me home beautiful and unique treasures of the earth. Together with my own collection, I had a huge amount of shells and stones. They brought me much joy.

In our recent interstate seachange, we again got rid of ‘stuff’ as the move towards a more simple life is very addictive. I understood it was time to say goodbye to some of these gifts and return them to Mother Earth. This was no easy task. I thought about how this is really a metaphor of the first and second half of life that Richard Rohr often speaks about – In the second half of life, you start to understand that life is not about doing; it’s about being (from Falling Upwards). I resonate with this. The first half of life is all about collecting; the second half of life is all about letting go.

In the first half of life, I gathered so many things, so many opinions, beliefs, ideas. Like my precious Mother Earth collection, I clung to them tightly and tried to take them all with me with every migration of identity. They were beautiful. However, after a while, these beautiful gifts become a burden, they become heavy, they take up space, and they take up time … and time becomes more precious as we begin to recognise how short life really is.

So as we do our ego work and shadow work, we begin to lay things down. This is not always easy and is often accompanied by grief. We begin the journey of detaching from things that we thought we could not live without, only to discover something remarkable … that love and grace is not a stone we cast aside, but something we carry within us. As we lay down stones we begin to awaken on the inside and realise that we are the pearl, the shell, the stone that has real value and we begin to see others in the same light.

In my previous home in Queensland, I stood in my garden and looked at the beautiful stones and pieces of wood I was leaving behind. I was so grateful that they had come into my life and I had the privilege of admiring their beauty for so long, and now it was time to return them to their home. I did not discard them all but have kept some to take into this next chapter with me. Deciding what stones to gather and what stones to scatter is perhaps one of the more complex moments of discernment in the second half of life.

So, dear reader, as you take some time to consider your ‘collections’ and the season of life that you may be in, I trust you find the courage to scatter and gather according to the hopes you carry for your future. May you not allow what you have gathered to sink you into despair or exhaustion … but nourish your sense of self, beauty, and creativity.

‘So get ready for some new freedom, some dangerous permission, some hopes from nowhere, some unexpected happiness, some stumbling stones, some radical grace, and some new and pressing responsibility for yourself and for our suffering world.’ Richard Rohr (Falling Upwards)

 

On the Move Again … !!!

“She took a step and didn’t want to take any more, but she did.” – Mark Zusak (The Book Thief)

I have moved thirty-seven times in my life, or maybe thirty-eight?? I can’t remember – but I moved a lot. Today I was again knee deep in boxes, packing and reducing the evidence of my existence to just over a third of what we brought with us to the Sunny Coast. Minimalising, I have found, is best taken in steps. In the meantime, I have done my bit in stocking local Salvo stores!

So much has happened in the last eighteen months. Both my partner and I have experienced an inner change that is hard to put into words, a migration of identity that has been accompanied by healing that both the liminal space and this beautiful geographical paradise helped provide.

As we head back down south for a variety of reasons, we leave behind my father who I love very much. He has now made his home in a little cottage in Tiaro, Queensland. It is a place that holds many precious memories for him. It is great to see him so content, but after ten years of living in family community together, I already miss him terribly. We will also leave behind new friends that became dear friends very quickly. People who reached out to us when we arrived exhausted and frazzled and speaking for myself, fairly angry and disillusioned. Friends whose shared laughter, tears and care have meant so much. Fortunately, the Sunshine Coast is not at the ends of the earth, so we will continue to share our lives … albeit via modern technology. We also say goodbye to three hundred days of sunshine a year and endless beaches – not an easy thing to do.

So as I channel my nomadic ancestors, I am grateful for the modern comforts of simple things such as cardboard boxes and companies that make a buck from moving our shit from one part of the country to the next. I come with some experience when it comes to moving. At this point my blog post changes gears as I thought it might be helpful to share my top ten tips for those who may be preparing to move or will one day embark on the adventure of relocation:

1. Simplify, simplify, simplify.

Use that move to get rid of stuff. We spend so much time accumulating possessions that, if we are honest, hold very little value and connection to who we are. Often the stuff we own simply acts as a witness to the fact that we have bought into the extremely well-oiled marketing machine of modern times that convinced us we needed the latest gadget that fluffs our pillows and shines our lettuce leaves. Here is the horrible, hurtful truth: we don’t. If you haven’t looked at it, tasted it, used it for six months … don’t pack it.

2. Start the planning and packing process early.

The minute it becomes definite that we are on the move I gather boxes and I have 2-3 boxes open in my laundry at all times. I stare at them, size them up and, yeah, talk to them, while planning what to pack in them. The more time you have to plan the packing bit, the smoother the whole procedure. I realise that sometimes we have to move in a hurry – but for me, that does not happen very often. Most of us have weeks, if not months, to plan a move. The minute you know you will move, get those boxes and even better … get rid of stuff.

3. Make lists.

I love lists. They keep anxiety from robbing my joy when I need to be focused and present in the moment. Make a ‘To Do’ list, make a box list, make a travel plan list, and make a ‘my fur baby’s needs while I travel list’. Write it down and then you know you will remember and move on to the next thing. Got to love me a good list!

4. Make your travel plans.

For the move back to Melbourne I have planned our trip and booked all the accommodation – with three cars, one trailer and two fur children, there is no room for no room. I emailed all the hosts and explained the convoy heading their way and asked whether they have room at their ‘inn’. Having all their answers and words of welcome in writing should minimalise accommodation issues.

5. Say ‘yes’ to people who offer to help.

Accept the help of friends and neighbours. ‘Independence’ is a myth and, quite frankly, can be a real pain in times of stress. A move is made so much easier when you have support – and perhaps a cooked meal.

6. Label your boxes clearly.

Label every box with your surname and destination. I also write what room I want each box in. If you don’t feel comfortable writing the contents on the actual box, use a numbering system and store that information on your computer.

7. Use all those little spaces.

You can save money by reducing the number of boxes you take. Filling every box is not just economical but also makes for greater protection of the contents. No matter how well you pack those glasses, if they are rattling around in a box, there’s every chance they won’t make it in one piece. This may not always be a tragedy as you get to throw them away and have less stuff!!

8. Don’t have a dinner by Candlelight.

As romantic as the notion may sound when you get to your destination you will want to turn the heating on, have a hot shower and perhaps even cook a meal. So don’t forget to organise all the necessary utilities for your destination. Websites such as ‘Your Porter’ make this all very simple. Don’t forget to disconnect the utilities at the house you are leaving behind.

9. Take time to Breathe.

I find house moves all-consuming. So I choose to be present, take moments to stroll in the garden, read a magazine, or have a coffee with friends. Fortunately, I have fur children that remind me every day that a walk in the fresh air is NOT an option.

10. Be Grateful.

Amidst all the stress, planning and my whining about moving AGAIN, I am also deeply grateful. I have traveled the earth, crossed continents and seen countries and sights that others dream of. The hand of Providence dealt me a gypsy card … and I get to do it all with people I love. Here is to packing another box, here is to life which is precious, here is to adventure, and here is to pilgrimage and change … to which we are all called!

Faith is not the clinging to a shrine but an endless pilgrimage of the heart.” – Abraham Joshua Heschel

 

Honey, I Shrunk the House!

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Freedom, it seems, sometimes comes to us disguised as pain. Perhaps, that’s why it takes us so long to fully embrace it? It has now been several years since I became a fan of the minimalist movement – you know, the idea that you actually need a whole less shit to make you happy? Outrageous! I have also been continuously challenged by how I live, recognising that I need to learn to tread a lot more softly on Mother Earth.

With the pursuit of a simpler life came a change of work circumstances for my partner. He felt it was time to make a shift. In his words, “At age 54, I am at a time in life when I’d like a smaller world not a bigger one, a slower pace not a faster one, and a simpler life not a more complex one.” So we stand at an intersection in our lives that demands us to be honest about what has been brewing in our hearts for a long time: it is time to lose in order to gain.

One of our first steps has been to downsize our house and get rid of a mortgage. Sounds great? Not when this is the spot that has become my ‘thin place‘. Over the last few years, this home as been my place of refuge. I love the garden which has been a massive labour of love. I work from my office and watch the birds busily going about life just outside my window. It is the place where our family and friends have met. So many lives and stories have been shared in the kitchen or sitting on the porch. This home holds untold memories. To say goodbye is not easy. A simpler path comes at a price.

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Everything in life comes with a price tag. To embrace convictions and live authentically sounds wonderful, but, trust me, there are many times you will have to be very brave in order to do so. For us personally, to pursue this simpler life we are learning to fly against so much of what ‘mega’ Christianity has embedded, encouraged and enshrined: the desire to influence, to become bigger, to be famous, to accumulate, to safeguard … the list goes on. However, for my partner and I, this no longer holds any attraction. In fact, for us (and we realise this is not everyone’s story or path), the pursuit of more is full of emptiness. We have been challenged to live a different life … and, in order to do so, we need to let go.

So it’s time to shrink the house! Shrink our footprints. Embrace a different tomorrow. I have always prided myself with the idea that I do not ‘horde’ or ‘accumulate’ stuff. Well, this blog is a confessional. I have spent hours sorting through stuff that I haven’t used or looked at for several years. I am now doubly motivated, as we will be moving into a house half the size of the one we currently live in. Everything I own is being scrutinised before being packed. It is exhausting … and freeing. I can’t really explain it, but there’s something very liberating about deciding to take just one pot of a certain size, not three, or just one set of crockery, not the whole caboodle I kept for entertaining the many large groups we would have through the house every year. 

And before I make myself sound like a minimalist saint … I have failed the packing ideal with my books. O my glob! I am attached to those books. It was fairly320px-Carl_Spitzweg_021 easy to part ways with books that flogged a certain modern religious pop culture or ones that upheld an ideology of colonial, white, privilege under the guise of orthodoxy. In fact, they made great fire starters. But other books … well, they are all coming. Remember, I am a recovering ‘accumulatist’.

I am discovering that shrinking brings joy, that less is definitely more – not just a fancy cliche. Life is found in the word ‘few’ and contentment is a most wonderful travelling companion. Of course, I grieve over what was, I feel the deep loss of what I have here. There is pain in minimising . Don’t underestimate it! However, I also feel the excitement of freedom from debt and stuff … there is no price I can put on that. 

Friend, we all make decisions every day to either simplify our lives or make them more complicated. May you choose wisely. May you choose life.

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