On Flying Kites: Decisions in Liminal Spaces

A post from a couple of years ago and still on the theme of liminality. These reflections are as relevant as ever for my life – especially in this season as we are about to embark on a brand new adventure and to fly some unique kites …

Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
– Anais Nin
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Most of us have faced times of transition and uncertainty. Liminal Spaces of not knowing. In these sacred times of ambiguity, it is often difficult to reach some form of clarity for any pending decisions. This can become quite a cumbersome burden. In transition, it often feels like we have several signposts pointing us to totally different places, and each one holds a convincing argument about this being the ‘right’ direction.
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A friend of mine helped me navigate and relax regarding decision making in times of transition. He suggested that I ‘fly some kites’ and allow myself the luxury of not working it all out at once. This was a novel idea. Over the last couple of decades, my life revolved around setting goals and reaching them. There was no such thing as an unplanned day! “Flying a kite” was something to be accomplished under the ‘mother’ goals. So I had to overcome a sense of guilt that came with the luxury of simply not knowing and therefore not planning.

Those who have ever attempted to fly a kite will know the potentials frustrations this exercise can bring: no wind, tangled line, obstacles, etc. However, when you do manage to get a kite to soar and feel the wind tugging at it as you watch it dance across the sky, there is a sense of joy. I have childhood memories of flying kites in green meadows near my home. In fact, I had several kites because somewhere better suited for specific kinds of wind and weather.

Interestingly, people have been flying kites for over 2,000 years. It is believed that they originated in Shandong, a province in China. The first kites had bamboo frames and were covered in silk and paper. As kite flying spread from China across Asia to India, each area developed their own style of kite and purpose for flying them. Marco Polo was among the first Europeans to document the building of a kite and how to fly them. Kites were used as early as 1749 to determine air temperature at 3,000 feet. In 1752, the Franklin father and son team used a kite to prove that lightening was indeed electricity and the Wright brothers used kites to research and develop their first aircraft. By 1950, NASA used kites to assist with spaceship recovery operations. Kites have proven to be most helpful and remain a source of delight for young and old alike.

I took my friend’s advice and starting ‘flying some kites’. These sort of transitional life moments don’t come along very much. What was peculiar was that although I would consider myself a dreamer and idealist, it became clear that to lay aside the ‘should’ and truly consider different possibilities would take some getting used to. Over time I began to get accustomed to this strange place. I decided that no idea or ‘kite’ was to be simply cast aside as foolish. Each one would be given time to be inspected and evaluated. A natural ‘narrowing down’ process began to happen. Clarity began to come in what I did not want to do and learning to say ‘no’ became easier.

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The kites that were considered ideal in an earlier stage of life had lost their lustre. The weather had changed, I had changed, something I would not have realised if I had not taken my friend’s advice and taken time to dream and consider. Childhood memories and longings came rushing back, things that had been lost under the burden of trying to fulfill the expectations of others. Flying kites recovers dreaming – something so easily lost in our hurried lives. I discovered that there’s no perfect kite and that it’s ok to have several kites in the air and to shrug my shoulder when someone asks what I’m doing.

Flying kites takes us on an adventure of discovery. This apparent whimsical activity reminds us that life is so much bigger than what our society dictates. It re-awakens dreams and imagination long lost under the burden of being a serious adult. Flying kites reminds us that life is not about that perfect decision or finding that perfect kite. Rather, it’s about moments that come our way. We should allow time to be in them and to fully consider them. This is all part of the journey. The burden of making that perfect decision slowly dissipates and we are left with wonder and 100 colourful kites in the air … and that is life … a chaotic wonder. So please, dear friend, go fly a kite!

Imagination is the highest kite one can fly. 
– Lauren Bacall
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