Adversity is the first path to truth.
– Lord Byron
As the hush of Advent falls on many hearts over the next few weeks, it is a good time to reflect on and remember 2015. To ‘remember’ means to consciously acknowledge the past – an event, a person, or a series of circumstances, for example. To remember means that we acknowledge the history of our own lives and those around us.
2015 has been a year of adversity for me, more so than usual. Don’t get me wrong, I am no stranger to grief or difficulty. I have experienced my fair share, just like everyone else. However, this year was different. This year I experienced adversity that drove me to a great state of anxiety, turned me upside down, inside out, and when the silence fell – I somehow was still standing. I want to thank Adversity this year.
It started with an interview in April on Joy FM. An interview in which I discussed my observations of the effect of the ex-gay therapy movement (which is still alive and kicking in many Christian organisations and churches) on LGBTIQ Christians with whom I have journeyed over several years. The healing and comfort this interview brought to so many people was surprising. To this day I am contacted at least once a week by someone who has found some form of healing or shalom listening to it. The emails, calls and messages have often left me in tears. I am so grateful for the opportunity and privilege to serve this brave group of people.
The Adversity that followed the interview was not surprising. Hysteria would be the tone I would use to describe it. It came from all directions – religious lobby groups, Christian folks I have never heard of, and also people that I knew, some fairly well. Anonymous letters, emails, calls, some direct, and some, in classic adherence to a silent patriarchal system, who chose to voice their anger or concern to the men in my life that they thought had some form of ‘authority’ over me. To each one of these people who contributed to the rather heavy storm of Adversity in my life, I want to say thank you. You all played a vital role in providing further helpful information in understanding some of the paradigms held in fundamentalist religious circles. You also helped me recognise some of the tightly held idealistic ‘loyal soldiers‘ that I urgently needed to dismiss. Adversity did that – and you helped. Thank you.
Thank you for creating deep empathy in my life for all who suffer anxiety. I never have experienced anxiety to any great level, but your letters, videos, newsletters helped me understand this space and how helpless you feel tossed about in its waves. Unlike many people in my life, my anxiety was not a permanent companion as much as a temporal result of bullying. This was patiently explained to me by a fantastic GP, whose passionate pep talk helped clear the cobwebs and was invaluable in gaining proper perspective. The Adversity I experienced was a key in realising what a paralysing force anxiety can be. Adversity helped shape a much greater respect and recognition of the people in my life who take on this reality every day of their lives with tremendous courage. Without this episode in my life I would still be getting my problem-solving ‘German’ on, failing to really understand. I am grateful to Adversity as I have become a little bit less of a jerk because of it.