Category Archives: Family, Friends & Foe

Teisha’s Story: A Life Interrupted

I met Teisha in 2012. It does not take long to recognise that behind this kind, funny and intelligent woman also lies incredible strength. There is no doubt that part of this strength was fashioned because she had to face some major curve balls that life threw at her.

11149719_1647835412102731_6579425741576113700_o

Teisha was just twenty-two and on a fast track to corporate success when her life was interrupted by a huge and unexpected hurdle. For the next four years she grieved for her lost dreams, caught in an avalanche of endless hospital ordeals and gruelling rehabilitation. Her devastating physical condition came to dominate her identity… until she decided to turn her hurdle into hope.

She committed herself to finding joy where it seemed impossible. Turning an existence of debilitating lows into a life of exhilarating highs, she left her homeland to travel the world. She left creature comforts to help orphans overseas. She left corporate life to become a social worker among the homeless and lonely. She found new gifts, new perspectives, new homes, new friends and in an amazing set of circumstances she found love.

She says this: “My life is unrecognisable to years ago. Today I’m no longer filled with negative energy nor overwhelmed by a life filled with uncertainty. Instead I’ve been able to find joy in my everyday life and have a genuine excitement about my future.

Early in my journey I experienced many aggressive relapses. But faced with poor health, I was hesitant to make changes in my life. I was living the life I had always planned. I’d finished university, commenced a corporate career and engrossed in Melbourne inner city living. 1423726695699

In my mind making changes to my life, altering any plans I had for the future, signified defeat. Even if I had wanted to make any life changes, I didn’t know what to change or how. As a consequence my health suffered and I felt stagnant; unsure how to move forward.

For me the key to moving beyond the darkness and frustration of living with MS has been momentum. I’ve been able to move beyond the negative energy by actively seeking new perspectives that challenge the way I think about, interact with and approach my illness and life.

Travelling overseas, studying social work, volunteering in Romania, living in a country town, exploring different approaches to wellbeing opened my world. I began to think about my life differently.

1423726745749Teisha’s story, in someway,  resonates with so many of our lives. We all face different hurdles. Teisha used hers as a way to discover that life itself is greater than whatever may interrupt our dreams. I wanted to highlight her story and the discoveries she shares in finding hope and a future, amidst difficulties.

Teisha, to me, is one of those everyday heroes that has not allowed extremely difficult circumstances to rob her of living life to the full and being fully present. She is a huge source of inspiration to so many around her. There are so many lessons we can learn from her story, perhaps most importantly, that our often interrupted lives and the hurdles we face can lead us to hope and a new beginning.

Check out Teisha’s blog at Lives Interrupted.

Origins

In a few months time I will be trekking via a hellhole, known as economy class, to the home of my patriarchal ancestors. I will be visiting a part of Poland which was once known as East Prussia. Arriving in Warsaw, the beloved and I will hire a car and navigate the Polish roads to the city of Elk, once known as Lyck. It was here, around 1944, that all sorts of horrendous dramas unfolded for my grandmother and her children as they fled the Red Army at the end of WW2 (my grandfather had died in the battle of Stalingrad).

IMG_0152 (1) My grandparents: Ilse & Leo Meyer

I have found the genealogical research a very troublesome process, not just because of the countless documents that have been destroyed. It has also been difficult to read the heart wrenching, historical narrative of desperate people caught up in the horrors of WW2, no matter what ‘side’ they were from.  The more I dig, the more I wonder: “Why am I doing this?” Hours of work may result, if I am fortunate, with a minuscule detail of information that may or may not further the progress of discovering some of my heritage.

31357_k1_Atlm0ErRmQz0BBQWlVS

My research took me to a “Church of ‘Jesus Christ’ of Latter Day Saints” near my home, which provides access to thousands of documents to assist those tracing the footsteps of their ancestors. I was welcomed by a lady who bore an uncanny resemblance to Professor Trelawney. In the course of conversation she mentioned that she spends nearly every day of the week here and has managed to trace her family history to the 7th century. It was a strange conversation as she gushed forth detailed information about her lineage with that mad gleam of a genealogical zealot in her eyes; eyes that were boring into my soul, wanting me to grasp the magnitude of the importance of her obsession. Desperately trying to remain interested I kept being distracted by the giant teacup by her computer, wondering whether there were traces of tealeaves at the bottom? In my head I was thinking, “A friggin’ name, lady, I am just after one elusive name.”

34A9950A-9A6E-46D3-961A-274F7EC2CFF8

So what exactly drives someone like this charming, ancestral extremist to embark on this magnitude of research? And what has made genealogical research one of the most popular hobbies and a global phenomenon?

The fascination with our lineage seems to go back into antiquity. Some have argued that it is a sense of feeling connected to others that is the motivation behind the hours of research work. Eviatar Zerubavel, in his book, ‘Ancestors & Relatives: Genealogy, Identity and Community’, challenges the way we look at genealogy. Rather than simply documenting who our ancestors were, it is a process of constructing a narrative to link ourselves to our ancestors.

Genealogies, he argues, aren’t simply a straightforward account of our ancestries, rather they are the heavily curated social constructions of our imagined values.”No other animals have ‘second cousins once removed,'” Zerubavel points out, “or are aware of having had great-great-great-grandparents”. Only humans have the ability to expand family trees and accrue large numbers of ‘optional’ relatives. We construct our genealogies by choosing, out of a nearly endless array of possibly important or interesting ancestors, the ones who matter to us.

So is our search for origin simply a search for meaning? And do we use distant relatives to construct a narrative that in some way feeds the need to discover meaning in our lives?  I would say this idea certainly plays a factor into my research. That, and sheer curiosity. If Zerubavel is correct in his argument, then is it any wonder in a world of disconnection, suspicion and tribal disintergration, people take to studying their ancestors – looking for stories that bring meaning to existence? Do genealogical studies provide a little bit of comfort for the existential angst that gnaws in each of us? And perhaps that is why, generally speaking, we have a love affair with fairytales? Because like our own historical narrative, they help us dream and imagine stories of greatness and mystery.

Since water still flows, though we cut it with swords,
And sorrow returns, though we drown it with wine,
Since the world can in no way satisfy our cravings,
Let us loosen our hair tomorrow and go fishing. 

–Li Po